The Pitchman

The shrine to the Pitchman - He has been doing this a long time
He has many props and talks a good game (as far as I can tell).

Bowls, dried fish, turtles, mysterious copper vessels - I first thought he was a chef.
First - kills a few goldfish for good measure.
Not quite dead yet....
The little guy was very interested in what was going on.
If you hold it close enough you can hear the ocean.

Look - nothing up his sleaves.
The shill - happy to part with his hard earned cash for good fortune.
The mystery of the lottery numbers.
This stuff is hot - but it wont burn!
OK - we are at the end of the show and no one forked up any cash so you will all have REALLY BAD LUCK!

I guess that having a grandfather who was a Tin Man (Aluminum Siding Salesman) made the hard working Chinese guy catch my attention. I spent a summer working for my grandpa Harold doing cold calls door to door trying to get people to buy siding and trim for their house and I heard my Dad's tell stories about how he and my uncle used to work for my Grandpa at the Wisconsin State Fair when they were teens. I've seen people pitching mops, grills, miracle cloths and detergents. I know what a tough job it is to get people to think about buying something they really don't need. Recently, in a busy square in Singapore's Chinatown I joined a crowd that had gather to watch a pitchman at work.

The pitch was all in Chinese and although a couple of young bilingual guys gave me a few insights into what he was saying I am still not exactly sure what he was selling and how various parts of his spiel had anything to do with anything.

When I first approached the orange jumpsuit clad old guy he was smacking goldfish on a small stool. On the ground nearby was a mat with a few small bowls, some dead turtles, a few goldfish and several dried fish. An integral part of the pitch, so it seemed. He stunned the fish and added them to the pile. He later put a few turtles, goldfish and dried fish into a can, sealed it and covered it. He also sprinkled some powder around his little sidewalk area. During the 45 minutes I stood there he did the fish thing and then moved on to a few other things. He pulled out a packet with some paper, a picture and a small metal tube (I believe this is what he was trying to sell). He unscrewed the tube, pulled out some copper looking thing, put it back in and added water before screwing it back together. He handed it to a guy who held it in his hand. He then handed it around to others. Nothing happened. He did a few things and then handed it back to the first guy. when the man closed his hand he quickly opened it and jumped as if he had been shocked or burned. This happened with everyone. He passed on me probably knowing I had no idea what he was saying and no chance I'd buy whatever he was selling.

After the shock trick he got a guy to fire up $10 for one of the things. I assume the guy was a shill. Anyway, he called that guy up and did a long ritual with a whole handful of lit incense. He lit it and rubbed it on the guy's arm. No problem, no burns. He also did a trick with a bowl and a handkerchief and the amazing appearance of a few numbers, guaranteed to hit on the lottery. All the while I was waiting for him to show how he had brought the fish and turtles back to life.

I think he was selling good luck in the form of a trinket and a Chinese map of the body with various ways to tell one's fortune. He pitched hard, got people interested and had lots of props. the picture of him as a young man and various old newspaper clippings (in Chinese) were there to attest to his greatness (or at least his trustworthiness). The pitch was a bit too long (Grandpa Harold would have sold 10 siding jobs in the same amount of time) and too complicated (the guy was doing too many things). At the end only two people bought his charm trinket and he was not very happy. For that I reason (I think) he refused to show us that the fish and turtles were brought back to life.

I don't know who I feel more sorry for - the guy because of his hard work with no reward, me for listening for 40 minutes or for the poor fish and turtles who as far as I know are still dead......